things that make me want to punch you in the face

stealing

driving in a lane that you know will close, because you can see all the signs that everyone else seems to be obeying

laziness (i mean, like, all the time)

cheating

calling yourself a “social media expert”

having any sort of bumper sticker with “learn english you’re in america” or similar ignorant statements

having one of those calvin peeing on something decals on your car

stupidity

littering

not thinking about others around you

using IE6 (or IE8)

playing dumb

being rude

having a full window/car display of an american flag and/or eagle with american flag, etc.

checking that “also send email to your circles” box in google plus for your stupid shit. ESPECIALLY when i don’t know you

irresponsibility

sending a million messages / emails / invites / dms (etc) about yourself or your stupid blog

slowly jaywalking while cars are coming

stubbing my toe on something you left lying around

Using reply-to-all to tell people to stop using reply-to-all

self righteousness

cutting me off in traffic

not caring about others around you

auto DM’s

sending emails filled with “u” “ur” “lol” “def” “lmao” etc.

not listening

putting your stupid baby as your profile picture on social media. all. the. time.

being a douchebag

homophobia

punchintheface

.

pretending to listen, but instead you’re really just listening for when the other person is done talking so you can reiterate your side of the argument

tYPe lIk3 DiS..

bluetooth douche bags

disrespecting others

leaving broken glass and litter around a public park

trump

taking my stuff

hurting my friends

not taking responsibility for your actions

telemarketing calls

unnecessary group facebook messages

punching me in the face

using the “15 items or less” checkout lanes in the grocery store when you have way more than 15 items

hitch balls

putting QR codes on your website

adding me to that same group MULTIPLE times after i leave the group

not following through with things you commit to

cutting in front of me in line

#completely #misusing #hashtags #by #typing #like #this #in #Instagram

those auto generated horoscope tweets

lying

asking me to put a QR code on your website

racism

adding me to your “buywhatevercrapyouareselling group” on Facebook

denying climate change

bros