things that make me want to punch you in the face

slowly jaywalking while cars are coming

not following through with things you commit to

not thinking about others around you

playing dumb

stubbing my toe on something you left lying around

tYPe lIk3 DiS..

trump

asking me to put a QR code on your website

Using reply-to-all to tell people to stop using reply-to-all

self righteousness

adding me to your “buywhatevercrapyouareselling group” on Facebook

bluetooth douche bags

driving in a lane that you know will close, because you can see all the signs that everyone else seems to be obeying

denying climate change

pretending to listen, but instead you’re really just listening for when the other person is done talking so you can reiterate your side of the argument

hitch balls

#completely #misusing #hashtags #by #typing #like #this #in #Instagram

calling yourself a “social media expert”

disrespecting others

having any sort of bumper sticker with “learn english you’re in america” or similar ignorant statements

being a douchebag

punchintheface

.

auto DM’s

adding me to that same group MULTIPLE times after i leave the group

using IE6 (or IE8)

homophobia

cutting me off in traffic

racism

using the “15 items or less” checkout lanes in the grocery store when you have way more than 15 items

not caring about others around you

lying

not taking responsibility for your actions

telemarketing calls

bros

having one of those calvin peeing on something decals on your car

those auto generated horoscope tweets

sending emails filled with “u” “ur” “lol” “def” “lmao” etc.

littering

sending a million messages / emails / invites / dms (etc) about yourself or your stupid blog

irresponsibility

not listening

taking my stuff

putting your stupid baby as your profile picture on social media. all. the. time.

unnecessary group facebook messages

cutting in front of me in line

leaving broken glass and litter around a public park

having a full window/car display of an american flag and/or eagle with american flag, etc.

stupidity

laziness (i mean, like, all the time)

stealing

being rude

hurting my friends

checking that “also send email to your circles” box in google plus for your stupid shit. ESPECIALLY when i don’t know you

punching me in the face

cheating

putting QR codes on your website