things that make me want to punch you in the face


denying climate change

hurting my friends

laziness (i mean, like, all the time)

cutting me off in traffic

auto DM’s

sending a million messages / emails / invites / dms (etc) about yourself or your stupid blog


#completely #misusing #hashtags #by #typing #like #this #in #Instagram

having a full window/car display of an american flag and/or eagle with american flag, etc.


having one of those calvin peeing on something decals on your car

disrespecting others

having any sort of bumper sticker with “learn english you’re in america” or similar ignorant statements

Using reply-to-all to tell people to stop using reply-to-all

taking my stuff

pretending to listen, but instead you’re really just listening for when the other person is done talking so you can reiterate your side of the argument

using the “15 items or less” checkout lanes in the grocery store when you have way more than 15 items



calling yourself a “social media expert”

not caring about others around you

telemarketing calls

checking that “also send email to your circles” box in google plus for your stupid shit. ESPECIALLY when i don’t know you

asking me to put a QR code on your website

putting your stupid baby as your profile picture on social media. all. the. time.

those auto generated horoscope tweets

not following through with things you commit to

being rude



being a douchebag


not thinking about others around you


punching me in the face

adding me to that same group MULTIPLE times after i leave the group

not listening

cutting in front of me in line


stubbing my toe on something you left lying around

tYPe lIk3 DiS..

self righteousness

sending emails filled with “u” “ur” “lol” “def” “lmao” etc.

putting QR codes on your website


driving in a lane that you know will close, because you can see all the signs that everyone else seems to be obeying

leaving broken glass and litter around a public park


unnecessary group facebook messages

bluetooth douche bags

hitch balls

adding me to your “buywhatevercrapyouareselling group” on Facebook

slowly jaywalking while cars are coming

not taking responsibility for your actions

using IE6 (or IE8)

playing dumb