things that make me want to punch you in the face


Using reply-to-all to tell people to stop using reply-to-all

putting QR codes on your website

stubbing my toe on something you left lying around

those auto generated horoscope tweets

self righteousness

tYPe lIk3 DiS..

taking my stuff

having any sort of bumper sticker with “learn english you’re in america” or similar ignorant statements

having a full window/car display of an american flag and/or eagle with american flag, etc.

playing dumb

being rude

calling yourself a “social media expert”

cutting in front of me in line



driving in a lane that you know will close, because you can see all the signs that everyone else seems to be obeying

hitch balls

slowly jaywalking while cars are coming

not following through with things you commit to


#completely #misusing #hashtags #by #typing #like #this #in #Instagram

using the “15 items or less” checkout lanes in the grocery store when you have way more than 15 items

hurting my friends

using IE6 (or IE8)


leaving broken glass and litter around a public park

not listening

adding me to that same group MULTIPLE times after i leave the group

having one of those calvin peeing on something decals on your car

sending a million messages / emails / invites / dms (etc) about yourself or your stupid blog

asking me to put a QR code on your website

cutting me off in traffic



pretending to listen, but instead you’re really just listening for when the other person is done talking so you can reiterate your side of the argument

not caring about others around you


sending emails filled with “u” “ur” “lol” “def” “lmao” etc.

unnecessary group facebook messages

telemarketing calls

adding me to your “buywhatevercrapyouareselling group” on Facebook

disrespecting others

punching me in the face


not taking responsibility for your actions


being a douchebag

bluetooth douche bags

auto DM’s

not thinking about others around you

denying climate change


laziness (i mean, like, all the time)

putting your stupid baby as your profile picture on social media. all. the. time.

checking that “also send email to your circles” box in google plus for your stupid shit. ESPECIALLY when i don’t know you